Grand Old Prevaricators.

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When will Neo-Cons ever take a marketing class?

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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The Neo-cons have been on the "scary black man" meme for some time now and show no signs of letting up. Fox News' anchor, E.D. Hill, started yapping about Michelle and Barack Obama's dap and called it a "terrorist fist jab."

From the LA Times:

The anchor never explained the origin of the term, which she read off the teleprompter as part of a written intro to the segment, according to a network executive familiar with the situation.

The phrase apparently came from a simple reader comment posted on an article on the conservative website Human Events that accused Michelle Obama of being un-American and employing “'Hezbollah' style fist-jabbing.”

Sean Hannity prattles on and on about "secret Muslim," "Obama's radical past," and "most liberal man in the Senate." I wonder how Ted Kennedy feels about losing that title to Obama? I am sure he has larger fish to fry these days. (Get well Ted!)

One marketing lesson the GOP seems to have forgotten, is that if the marketing message stays the same, it looses its power. You have to mix it up but all they have on Obama is his skin, hence we will be saturated, I predict, with "Scary Black Man" for months to come.

SPECIAL REQUEST FOR TCD FANS: The San Francisco Chronicle is pondering the addition of new cartoons for their paper - a process that seems to be initiated by Darren Bell, creator of Candorville (one of my daily reads - highly recommended). You can read the Chronicle article here and please add your thoughts to the comments if you wish. If anything, put in a good word for Darren and Candorville.

I am submitting Town Called Dobson to the paper for their consideration. They seem to have given great weight to receiving 200 messages considering Candorville. I am asking TCD fans to try to surpass that amount. (I get more than that many hate mails a day, surely fans can do better?)

This is not a race between Darren and I, it is a hope that more progressive strips can be represented in the printed press of America.

So if you read the San Francisco Chronicle or live in the Bay Area (Google Analytics tell me there are a lot of you), please send your kind comments (or naked, straining outrage) to David Wiegand at his published addresses below. If you are a subscriber, cut out your mailing label and staple it to a TCD strip and include it in your letter.

candorcomment@sfchronicle.com

or

David Wiegand
Executive Datebook Editor
The San Francisco Chronicle
901 Mission St.
San Francisco, CA 94103

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Nazi Republicans Running For Congress

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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SPECIAL REQUEST FOR TCD FANS: The San Francisco Chronicle is pondering the addition of new cartoons for their paper - a process that seems to be initiated by Darren Bell, creator of Candorville (one of my daily reads - highly recommended). You can read the Chronicle article here and please add your thoughts to the comments if you wish. If anything, put in a good word for Darren and Candorville.

I am submitting Town Called Dobson to the paper for their consideration. They seem to have given great weight to receiving 200 messages considering Candorville. I am asking TCD fans to try to surpass that amount. (I get more than that many hate mails a day, surely fans can do better?)

This is not a race between Darren and I, it is a hope that more progressive strips can be represented in the printed press of America.

So if you read the San Francisco Chronicle or live in the Bay Area (Google Analytics tell me there are a lot of you), please send your kind comments (or naked, straining outrage) to David Wiegand at his published addresses below. If you are a subscriber, cut out your mailing label and staple it to a TCD strip and include it in your letter.

candorcomment@sfchronicle.com

or

David Wiegand
Executive Datebook Editor
The San Francisco Chronicle
901 Mission St.
San Francisco, CA 94103


Strip Essay:
For the life of me, I cannot understand Republicans. As soon as I think I am getting close to the GOP Tree Of Knowledge, up pops a Republican primary candidate celebrating Hitler's 119th birthday.

On Sunday, Tony Zirkle, candidate for Indiana's 2nd US Congressional District, spoke to a crowd of nearly 60 neo-Nazis/white supremacists gathered in Chicago to commemorate Hitler's birthday. The fact that Tony Zirkle, a candidate for United States Congress, would honor a gathering of neo-Nazis who believe one of the most evil men the world has ever known was in fact a great leader, is utterly despicable and beyond the pale. Tony Zirkle has disgraced himself. (PR nightmare photo here)

Now, when confronted with his stupidity, Reichsmarschall Zirkle claims he was misunderstood, the Southbend Tribune reports:

Zirkle said he feels he was misunderstood. His real mission, he said, is to rid the country of pornography, and that's what he was saying at the ANSWP gathering. So how did his comment about Jews fit in?

"Most of the male porn stars were Jewish at the beginning," Zirkle explained.

Now the male porn stars are mostly black, he claimed, and the women who appear in pornographic works tend to be "young, white, Christian women."

If people think he is targeting the Jews, he said, they are misinterpreting his position. He is targeting, Zirkle said, the "porn dragon" that inspires Jews to get involved in pornography.

Suffice it to say, Godwin's Law has been broken right off the bat.

Hat Tip to Bilerico

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Romney’s Secret Weapon Against Huckabee

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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If somehow Mitt Romney can overcome Rudy's mistress/police scandal and Huckabee's religious fueled surge in the polls, he may have one thing that can help him in the general election - a lack of serious religious fundamentalism in his past.

Yeah, I know, he is not my candidate either and I abhor his policies. I know he wants to crawl up into my wife's uterus and legislate what she does with her ova and I understand he is a nutcase when it comes to foreign policy and economics. All of that aside, he doesn't hold a candle to Huckabee. Huckabee IS A ORDAINED SOUTHERN BAPTIST MINISTER!!! You can't get more cranky than that unless you are wearing a Klan hood.

Most of my issues surrounding Christianity stems from the Southern Baptists - they deny science, they generally believe the Bible is the literal word of God and are some of the most bigoted people I know. I actually know Southern Baptists who voted for Bush and STILL support him because he is God's instrument for bringing about the Rapture.

Understand I am also not a Mormon, but you must admit, they do not have THAT track record. They have had their own problems (Blacks being not fully human, etc.) but they have made great strides in correcting those problems. Kinda like when Bill Gates realized the Internet WAS going to be important after all and moved the whole of Microsoft in that direction overnight. The likes of Jim Jeffords I do not associate with the Latter Day Saints whatsoever.

To all of us secularists, Romney is much more digestible than Huckabee. He is not weighed down by that cross Huckabee drags around everywhere he goes.

As a meth addict once told me, "come down off that cross, someone else needs the wood."

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GOP Debates

Crossposted from LiberalAngst.com a member of SpinZone Comics.

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Sean Hannity - Great Soviet

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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If we are going to have freedom of speech then it has to apply to everyone. Certainly Ron Paul is not my candidate of choice but just because he doesn't suit my elective tastes does not mean he should be shut out.

Congressman Paul had one helluva weekend, hauling in $4.2 million in what I would call a genius fund raising strategy and if that kind of HISTORIC event should guarantee anything, it should guarantee Ron Paul a seat at the Iowa GOP Debate, but it seems it will not.

The same day that Ron Paul made presidential fund raising history, the Iowa GOP announced that its December 4th Republican Debate in Des Moines Iowa to be aired by Fox News, would only include candidates polling at least 5% in presidential polls.

The move by the Iowa GOP and Fox News to exclude candidates based on polls at this early stage of the presidential race has outraged Ron Paul supporters and may provoke a large demonstration at the site of the debate. Paul supporters feel the move is a deliberate attempt to censor Ron Paul from the debate.

Messages of outrage have been posted on websites and are spreading by email about the debate.

At the current pace of fund raising it is possible that Ron Paul may end up with more cash on hand at the end of the quarter than any of the other candidates running in the Republican primary.

Sean Hannity after the last debate, continually derided Paul supporters and expressed his disbelief in the polls that featured Ron Paul doing well. This past weekend should come with a good helping of crow, but Sean probably could care less. He has other things to lie about.

Democracy only works when all voices are loosed upon the populace. We The People have always done a good job when we hear all sides. When we don't hear all sides, we get things like the Iraq War, Bush listening to every phone call in America, Rove reading all of our emails, and all the rest of it. When we do not hear all voices, we get the corrupt Congress we have today.

Now, if I could only loosen up Al Gore's tongue...

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GOP = Gay. Out. Proud.

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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Exactly one week ago, I ran a strip pondering when the next GOP sex scandal would happen (see Hot Buttery GOP Action). Well, it didn't take long.

From the AP:

OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) — A state lawmaker who has voted against gay rights resigned Wednesday, days after he was quoted in police reports as saying a man he had sex with after they met at an erotic video store was trying to blackmail him.

Rep. Richard Curtis, 48, said he was resigning immediately to spare his wife and children more public embarrassment. In a written statement, Curtis said, "Events that have recently come to light have hurt a lot of people. I sincerely apologize for any pain my actions may have caused."

Curtis, a Republican, told a newspaper in his southwest Washington district on Monday that sex was not involved in what he said was an extortion attempt. He also declared he was not gay.

But in police reports, Curtis said he was being extorted by a man he had sex with at a hotel room in Spokane, where Curtis was attending a GOP retreat. The other man, Cody Castagna, 26, contends Curtis reneged on a promise to pay $1,000 for sex.

CNN is reporting that the police report on this incident is FIFTY PAGES LONG! That I must find. It will make great reading.

So where does that leave us? Well more proof that the GOP has suckered the Religious Right all this time. I wonder when they will wake up? The rest of us have our eyes open.

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Hot Buttery GOP Action

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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Honestly, it has been what seems like FOREVER since we have had another GOP sex scandal. I have mentioned my expectations before about randomly switching on CSPAN and seeing Representative Howard Coble, in the Well of the US House blowing a horse - but what else might be possible?

When will one of the Chris Hansen's Dateline pedophile stings snag a Congressman? Who will be the first Republican to be discovered as having a diaper fetish? OH GAWD, that is what Tivo was made for!

In the last two years, the GOP has run the gamut of sex scandals. Damn near every scenario has been exposed - dirty emails to pages, hookers, random booty calls in public restrooms. It all makes Clinton look boring.

Maybe that is why the GOP have a love/hate relationship with Giuliani? They identify with him because of the multiple marriages and mistress scandals - oh, and the celebratory cross-dressing. And that is maybe why they also hate him. The Religious Right sees too much of themselves in Rudy?

So here I sit, tapping my foot - waiting for the next shoe to drop.

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Thompson, God and the Republic Party

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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During the Family Values Voters Summit in DC last week, Fred Thompson received the only standing ovation of the night - that includes all the GOP candidates. The thing that bugs me is he got the standing ovation for being unprepared and not having a moral foundation.

From ABC News...

I know the first hour, I would go into the Oval Office and close the door, and pray for the wisdom to know what was right...

I shouldn't be surprised that Fred Thompson, a 65 year old Republican man that claims a belief in Jesus, still doesn't know right from wrong. He has to pray to know what is right? He doesn't know? Not yet? Maybe if he studied the teachings of Jesus he wouldn't need to pray about it.

Thompson also said he didn't know what he would do for his first 100 days in office. What great news to rejoice over! Yet another Republican wanting to be President who doesn't have the slightest inkling about what to do once they get into office. The nation is in the most trouble it has been in since the Civil War and Thompson doesn't have a plan for his first hundred days? We certainly don't need another slacker in office. Most other candidates and even a few of from the GOP have their first 100 days mapped out. Kucinich for example will start the withdrawal of troops from Iraq, cancel NAFTA and withdraw from the WTO. That is his FIRST DAY. Much more productive than Thompson's waiting for his plan to be downloaded from a celestial golden throne.

The people who gave Thompson the standing ovation are probably the same dead-enders that are still supporting Bush. Leave it to the Republic Party
to support and encourage stupidity.

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Making the case for World War III.

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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If an alliance of first world nations like France, Germany and the UK joined in battle to stop America's reckless foreign policy, it might be good for America in the long run. It might be a good wake-up call to dead-end citizen demographic who simply don't give a shit about anything other than themselves.

They don't care about kids.

They don't care about economics.

They don't care about law.

They sure as Hell don't care about the environment.

But they do want to control you and monitor you in every way imaginable.

If America is conquered, we might get our taxation realigned with reality, we might get universal healthcare - we might even get our economy rolling again.

In all seriousness, if the Esercito Italiano (Italian Army) came knocking on my door, I think I might just say "Ciao! Sangiovese?"

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BiPartisan

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Funniest Logo Ever!

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Republicans and Compassionate Hedonism

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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You can’t throw a dental dam these days without hitting a Gay Republican.

We have all heard of the old saw about those “who protest too much.” It only 10% of that is true, the GOP must be the biggest hotbed of suppressed homosexual activity the planet has ever known. Forget about the Greeks and the Romans, the Republicans must be swinging like no one ever has.

To me, this explains the big secret the Log Cabin Republicans have been withholding - they know where all the boas are hidden.

Note: My laptop died this week and is now in the caring and capable hands of Apple’s Center for Holy System Resurrection. Please be patient with the irregularity of publication for the next few days.

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Thompson auditions for lead in “Failed Democracy”

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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This is not a Presidential run, but an audition. Already Fred Thompson is using prop masters - when Fred arrives at an event, he is in his red pick-up truck. Before the event, behind the scenes a prop master will off load the pick-up from a flatbed hauler a few miles away from the staged public event. Fred will arrive via chauffeured limousine and then he will drive the pick-up the rest of the way to the event.

After this nation voted in Bush TWICE, I don't have much confidence in my fellow citizen's ability to see through bullshit, but Fred Thompson, his cast and crew of Failed Democracy may be slick enough for the Bush supporters.

I can only imagine what the casting couch looks like.

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The Three Stages of Republican Corruption

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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George Bush's War God must have been watching over Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts yesterday when he had a seizure on a lakeside dock. With all that water surrounding Roberts, just imagine the heart-wrenching agony the nation would have went through if God had made Roberts spaz out in the direction of the water... just a few steps more and we would have had a full-fledged drowning. Just a few tiny steps... maybe three tops.

Thankfully that didn't happen. Now he can still be tried for lying to Congress about his health.

That said, it lead me to wonder if there was a pattern to all of this - to the exposure of corruption within the GOP.

First you need to start with The Foaming Of The Mouth - total unhinged rants against liberals, homosexuality, Paganism at the same time praising Bush like he was Allah, including facing Crawford and praying five times a day. We have seen this with most, if not all of the recent GOP scandals. Mark Foley was "a champion for children against online predators" only to be caught chasing down young boys on Instant Messenger. Ted Haggard was yelling and screaming about the evils of homosexuality while being freaked on meth and snogging male prostitutes.

The next stage is The Outing. Recently, Louisanna Senator Vitter was caught with a slew of hookers from DC to New Orleans and just last night Alaska Senator Ted Stevens (Mister Bridge to Nowhere) had his house ransacked by Federal Agents collecting evidence of tax evasion, bribery and corruption. Stevens was one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, defender of pork in Congressional funding bills and who would have guessed all of those construction projects would have garnered him some payola? And Vitter was one of those "liberals are destroying the family" guys while at the same time he was probably spending his nights in the French Quarter screaming "whose you fucking Daddy now" with a triple nipple butt-plug firmly implanted.

The last stage has to be The Resurrection. After the Republican in question leaves jail, divorce court or rehab, they go into a "time of solitude to contemplate their actions" (never to beg forgiveness) only to appear months later on the talk show circuit exclaiming their persecution was politically motivated, putting forth how no one else goes to jail over these issues or maybe how, technically, no law was broken. From that point, their career may drift toward a hefty book deal, radio show and if it was a particularly sordid scandal, they will end up with a news analyst deal for Fox News to comment on what happens when we catch US Representative Howard Coble, in the Well of the House, blowing a horse.

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How the gay agenda is undermining the Republican Party.

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing



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John McCain is a loser.

Not only has he gone through all his cash on hand, he may have gone through some of his "cash not on hand" and now has to raise money to pay creditors. Kinda like the way the Federal budget has been handled - the time-worn borrow and spend habits of the Republican Party.

But what is really tasteless is how the McCain camp is spinning their failure - the fault of gay sweaters.

In the final days of his imploding candidacy, John McCain has taken a page out of Richard Nixon's play book, finding increasingly bizarre explanations for his political failures. Strangest of all: He reportedly feels his handlers forced him to wear "gay sweaters."

According to one insider, the knit-picking was the crescendo of a tirade by the Arizona senator, in which he blistered aides about the minutiae of the campaign. While many septuagenarians live in a perpetual state of sweater weather, McCain reportedly declared his frustration with being told to don the perceived homosexual outerwear in order to look younger and more approachable.

But what really makes McCain the loser is his belief of specific types of sweaters, that give him a more youthful and approachable look, make him look "gay." It illustrates his true feelings toward the gay community which is nothing but bigotry and hatred.

However Giuliani's numbers are much higher than McCain's and Rudy has that whole cross-dressing thing going, which is not hurting that much in the fund raising department. Maybe the GOP has more tolerance for the occasional gender role fashion swap than they do for McCain's idiotic immigration policy, warmongering and Bush worship.

Maybe not. Again comparing McCain to Rudy we can say McCain is not gay enough.

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How Lesbian Culture Can Explain BushCo

Crossposted from Town Called Dobson & My Left Wing



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And no, I am not talking about THAT kinda bush.

The premium cable channel Showtime has a show called The L Word, and one character, Alice, has developed a chart to explain the sexual and emotional relationships of the characters on the show.

Well, it just so happens that Alice's chart is a great tool to illustrate who is screwing who over in the Bush Administration. After close examination of this chart, it really does explain my chaffing.

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GOP and a lack of reason and logic.

Crossposted from Town Called Dobson & My Left Wing



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The Republicans seem to be going back in time. There is one instance after another of just how out of touch they are. Not just out of touch with We The People but out of touch with reality. They claimed Terry Schiavo was alive and well, when she was clearly brain dead to REAL doctors and scientists. They ignore global warming and claim it is just doctored evidence from commie-pinko liberals. They outlaw medical procedures for reasons that have no real medical basis. They outlaw research for reasons that have no scientific basis. The GOP believes shipping jobs overseas is good for the American economy. Republicans believe the middle-class should be destroyed. They even think preemptive war is a good idea.

How did they get to this space? What led them to this path of idiocy? Christian Fundamentalists.

The GOP and Fundamentalists share the same talent for ignoring logic, reason and science that allows them to support theo-fascist government. These are the same people who try to ban Harry Potter books, the same people who built the Creation Museum and who still have a bone stuck in their throat over interracial relationships.

They put their trust in slogans instead of explanations. They put their faith in millionaire preachers instead of what their own eyes shows them about poverty.

Face it, Christian Fundamentalists are the easiest people in America to lie to.

Site Note: Don't forget to grab your official Howl Qaeda wallpaper. Just click HERE!

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John McCain - Contents Under Pressure

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PUT EXTENDED TEXT OR ADDITIONAL 'TOONS HERE, OR DELETE THIS LINE.

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Inside The Watergate Basement

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